5 Regulation Strategies for Moms in 5 Minutes or Less
Let’s set the scene: You’re unloading the dishwasher, your baby is crying, and your toddler is relentlessly asking for a banana, waiting for you to respond. The pressure builds, and you start to feel overwhelmed. Your shoulders tense up, your heart races, and it feels like everything needs your attention right this second.
Nervous system dysregulation can be especially challenging for parents. As a mother, you're not only managing your own emotional regulation but also carrying the emotional load for your little ones, who are still learning to regulate their feelings. This creates significant strain on your nervous system. When your baby cries, your body releases cortisol (the stress hormone) to heighten your responsiveness. While this is meant to help you attend to your baby’s needs, it also triggers a physical stress response in your body. It’s not just in your mind—your body is reacting to real cues from your environment.
As a parent, you know the importance of self-care, but finding the time for it can feel impossible. Between feeding kids, managing household tasks, meeting social obligations, handling extracurriculars, working, and making time for family, it’s overwhelming. We’re often led to believe that self-care requires uninterrupted free time, but that’s not the case. In just five minutes, even amid the chaos, you can strengthen your nervous system and improve your ability to handle stress. Here are five simple nervous system resets that take only five minutes.
Ice Compress
Keep an ice tray in the freezer and apply a cube to the back of your neck the next time you start feeling overwhelmed. Try to hold it there for five minutes. Pay close attention to the sensation of the ice against your skin, and take this moment to check in with your breath. Challenge yourself to take slow, deep inhales and exhales. This simple practice can help give your nervous system a chance to reset and regulate.
Why it works:
Cold exposure can help regulate the nervous system by stimulating the vagus nerve and activating the parasympathetic nervous system. The vagus nerve promotes calm by lowering the heart rate and slowing the breath. The parasympathetic nervous system, often called the “rest and digest” system, supports relaxation and recovery after stressful situations.
Shaking
Find a safe space where you can move your body—whether it's in the garage, on the porch, or somewhere else that feels comfortable. Start by shaking your arms, then move to your legs. Gradually work your way up to shaking your entire body. This practice helps release tension and reset your nervous system, allowing you to feel more grounded and present.
Why it works:
Shaking helps release pent-up energy and expel excess cortisol from the body. It can also alleviate muscle tension, promoting relaxation and improving body awareness. As a form of vestibular input, shaking regulates balance, coordination, and spatial awareness. Additionally, it can enhance concentration, making it especially useful when you're experiencing decision-making fatigue.
Make a hot drink.
Practice mindfulness by making a warm cup of tea. As the tea bag steeps, take your time to watch the water change color. Focus on the scents—what aromas can you detect? Feel the warmth of the cup in your hands, and pay attention to the sensation of the steam on your face. Engage fully in each step, bringing your awareness to the present moment.
Why it works:
This is essentially a grounding strategy that helps reconnect us with our immediate surroundings and senses. It soothes the nervous system through tactile input, influencing our response to textures and stimuli, while offering an opportunity to feel safe through touch. It also provides soothing through olfactory input—the sense of smell—which can impact our emotions, behaviors, and memory. Additionally, it serves as a calming exercise for visual input, allowing us to notice color and changes in space. Bonus points if you pour your tea into your favorite mug, adding an extra layer of comfort.
Aromatherapy
Choose an essential oil with a calming or comforting scent. Open the bottle and inhale deeply, focusing on the fragrance. Close your eyes and take a slow, deep breath. For a gentler scent, you can also dab a drop on a paper towel. Take a moment to notice how the aroma affects your body and mind, helping you feel more centered and relaxed.
Why it works:
Aromatherapy soothes by activating olfactory input, which is our sense of smell. The olfactory system is closely connected to the limbic system, the part of the brain that governs emotions, memory, and behavior. Because of this direct link, certain scents can trigger emotional responses, helping to calm the nervous system or lift your mood. By incorporating scents mindfully, we can slowly introduce sensory stimulation in a way that feels safe and grounding. Scents associated with positive memories or events can enhance relaxation and promote emotional well-being, as they influence both our emotional state and our physical responses.
Carrying a load (literally).
Fill a laundry basket to the top and carry it up and down the stairs for five minutes. Make sure it feels heavy but not so much that it causes strain when lifting. You can move at a pace that feels comfortable—whether that’s quickly or slowly.
Why it works:
This activity works by providing active proprioceptive input. The proprioceptive system consists of sensory receptors that give feedback on your body’s position, movement, and force. Stimulating the proprioceptive system can help ground your nervous system, increase body awareness, and promote relaxation.
Try incorporating a few of these strategies this week and observe how your body responds to stress. While increasing nervous system flexibility may seem overwhelming, it doesn’t have to be. Small, consistent efforts can lead to a significant impact over time. Remember, progress doesn’t have to be immediate; each step you take is part of the journey toward greater resilience.
Resources:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4319977/
Heal Your Nervous System By. Dr. Linnea Passaler
