Relationships
connect more fully
Healthy relationships are essential for emotional well-being, yet many individuals face struggles in forming, maintaining, and navigating these bonds.
Whether it’s in romantic partnerships, family dynamics, or friendships, difficulties in attachment and relationships can leave us feeling isolated, misunderstood, or stuck. If you’ve experienced challenges in your relationships, know that therapy can help you explore and heal the patterns that may be contributing to your struggles.
What Are Attachment Issues?
Attachment issues stem from the way we connect and bond with others, often originating in early childhood experiences with caregivers. These formative relationships shape how we view ourselves and others in future interactions. When attachment needs aren’t fully met or are disrupted, it can lead to difficulties in relationships later in life.
Common Types of Attachment Styles:
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Secure Attachment
People with a secure attachment style are generally comfortable with closeness, intimacy, and trust in relationships. Secure attachment results in satisfactory and stable relationships.
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Anxious Attachment
Individuals with an anxious attachment style tend to worry about their relationships and may need constant reassurance, often fearing abandonment.
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Avoidant Attachment
Those with avoidant attachment may struggle with intimacy and tend to pull away or shut down emotionally when faced with relationship stress or demands for vulnerability and connection.
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Disorganized Attachment
A combination of anxious and avoidant patterns, where an individual may have inconsistent behavior toward relationships, feeling both drawn to and fearful of intimacy.
While attachment issues are often rooted in childhood, they can persist into adulthood, affecting romantic relationships, friendships, and family dynamics. The good news is that these patterns are not set in stone—therapy can help individuals develop healthier attachment behaviors and break free from destructive cycles.
How Attachment Issues Show Up in Relationships
Attachment issues can affect relationships in many ways, leading to repeated patterns of conflict or emotional distress. Some common challenges include:
Fear of Abandonment:
Individuals with an anxious attachment style may experience intense fear that their partner or loved ones will leave them, which can lead to constant reassurance-seeking, jealousy, or overdependence.
Difficulty with Intimacy:
People with avoidant attachment may struggle with emotional closeness, feeling uncomfortable with vulnerability or relying on others. They might distance themselves in times of stress or avoid getting too close to others.
Relational Ruckus:
Those with disorganized attachment may exhibit inconsistent behavior in relationships. The core need for safety results in confusing behavior at times to either achieve closeness or distance, depending on what feels safer.
Chronic Conflict:
Many attachment-related issues can result in recurring arguments, tension, or unresolved issues. These are often rooted in unmet emotional needs, misunderstandings, or fears of rejection or abandonment.
Low Self-Esteem:
Attachment issues can also contribute to low self-worth, where individuals feel unworthy of love or find difficulty in trusting others. The strong human desire to connect is thwarted by lack of skill, fear or shame.
How We Work with Attachment and Relationship Issues:
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Attachment-Based Therapy
Attachment-based therapy focuses on exploring the root causes of attachment patterns, often stemming from early childhood experiences. This approach helps you understand how your attachment style, how it was formed, how it affects your present-day relationships, and how to improve secure attachment behaviors.
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Cognitive Behavior Therapy
CBT focuses on how your thoughts and behaviors influence your emotional well-being and relationships. In the context of attachment issues, CBT helps individuals recognize and challenge negative beliefs about themselves and others that may be driving attachment-related struggles.
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Trauma-Informed Therapy
Trauma-informed therapy focuses on creating a safety for healing, emphasizing self-compassion and emotional regulation. Individuals can then recognize how past traumas affect present relationships and embody healthy relational behaviors. By regulating the nervous system, clients can reclaim authentic connection.
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Internal Family Systems
IFS is a therapeutic approach that helps individuals recognize and heal the different "parts" of themselves. By healing these parts and encouraging collaboration, IFS helps individuals create healthier, more balanced emotional responses in relationships. The goal is to develop understanding and integration.
Our therapists are “Neurodiverse Informed”, which is to say that we all have training and skills to work with a range of folks on the neurodiverse spectrum from ADD/ADHD, gifted, and high functioning autism. We fully celebrate the Neuro-Spicey and the Bright and Quirky!
Meet Your Specialists
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Meet Your Specialists ⚘
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Lauren Boland, LCSW
My heart-centered approach cultivates healing through attunement, nurture and collaboration. Working with me, your voice will be heard, your emotions validated, and your growth supported. I enjoy working with adults of all ages and genders and older teens and excel with trauma, anxiety, and neurodivergence.
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Alicia Boone, PCLC
I have a deep passion for supporting young women navigate life, pregnancy, miscarriage, and motherhood. Helping women understand and manage the unique challenges of ADHD is also a specialty, and I provide tools to improve emotional regulation, focus, and self-esteem
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Becky Johnston, LCSW
As a down-to-earth therapist, I have enough life experience to know that things don’t always go as planned. My warm and collaborative style is like a friend who asks all the good questions - but doesn’t steal your fries. I specialize in anxiety and depression for ages 16 through adulthood.
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Ellie Jorgensen, LCPC
My passion is helping individuals and families navigate life’s twists, turns, and roller coaster moments. I specialize in working with children, perinatal women, and family systems, focusing on challenges like childhood behavioral concerns, attachment, big life transitions, trauma, anxiety, and OCD.
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Tori Kenyon, LCSW
I try to bring a strong sense of professionalism, but also know that I have a naturally playful approach to connection. My varied clinical past has allowed me to develop confidence and skills working with all genders ages 16 to 35. I feel at my most skilled when I’m working with life transitions, trauma, anxiety, and depression.
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Sarah Webb, LCSW
I am passionate about burnout, anxiety, rage, postpartum, birth trauma, attachment, and healthy coping in women. With expert training in Somatic, Mindfulness, and Attachment, I get to the core quickly so therapy has big impact. Our collaboration will help you reclaim your power and vibrancy.
“more ways than I can count…”
“Illuminate Counseling has positively impacted my life in more ways than I can count. It has helped me on a personal level as I move through the big and small challenges of life. Mostly though, it has made such a positive impact on my relationships.”
— ILLUMINATE CLIENT
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