Preparing Your Toddler for a New Sibling: Nurturing Connection Through Change

As I sit down to write this blog post, I’m 30 weeks pregnant with our second baby. My daughter and I have settled into a sweet and steady routine—one that’s full of connection, play, and familiarity. Naturally, I find myself wondering: how will our bond change when we welcome a new baby into our family? What will this transition look like for her… and for me?

These questions have been on my heart for the past couple of months. In that time, I’ve done a lot of reading, learning, and reflecting—seeking out tools and strategies to help us all feel as prepared and supported as possible for this exciting new chapter. I’m excited to share what I’ve discovered, especially the tips we’ve tried ourselves and found to be genuinely toddler-approved (and yes—3-year-old tested!).

Bringing home a new sibling can feel overwhelming for both parents and children. As we enter the postpartum season with our second child, it’s natural to worry about how the shift might affect our connection with our older child. But just as we thoughtfully prepare our homes and bodies for the early postpartum period, there’s incredible power in preparing our toddlers emotionally and relationally for this transition too.

Here are some thoughtful and practical ways you can help your older child navigate the transition into becoming a big sibling with confidence and connection:

1. Read books about becoming a big sibling
Reading picture books about welcoming a new baby helps your child begin to understand what’s coming. Stories provide a safe space to explore the idea of a sibling, offering both predictability and language to process the experience. They also allow your child to see themselves in the narrative and ask questions in a low-pressure way.

2. Make space for special one-on-one time with mom (and dad, too)
As routines begin to shift in preparation for the new baby, creating intentional one-on-one time with your older child can be incredibly grounding. Even just a few uninterrupted minutes each day can reassure them that your bond remains strong and that they still have a secure and special place in your heart.

Let them know this is your time together—something just for the two of you. Use simple affirmations like, “I love this time with just you and me” or “This moment is just for us.” These words reinforce connection and help your child feel seen and cherished.

Choose activities that invite genuine connection, like going for a walk, building a puzzle, baking something simple, or painting together. It doesn’t have to be elaborate—the goal is presence, not perfection. These small but consistent moments can create lasting emotional security during a time of big changes.

3. Use gentle prompts to explore their feelings
Invite your child into open-ended conversations about how they feel about the new baby. You can use questions like, “What do you think it will be like when the baby comes?” or “Is there anything you're wondering or worried about?” These conversations build emotional awareness and help you better understand their inner world.

4. Normalize mixed emotions
Let your child know that it’s completely okay to feel excited and nervous—or even upset—about the baby’s arrival. Reassure them that these emotions are valid and that your love for them won’t change. This kind of emotional validation helps them feel safe and supported through the transition.

5. Talk to the baby in your belly about their big sibling—out loud and often
Make a habit of speaking to your unborn baby about their older sibling while your child is nearby. Say things like, “You’re going to love your big sister—she’s so kind and fun!” or “I can’t wait for you to meet your big brother; he’s so caring.”

These moments not only help your older child feel acknowledged and important, but they also reinforce their identity in this new role. The words we speak over our children carry weight—they shape how they see themselves and their place in the family. Speaking positively about them in front of the new baby helps lay a foundation of confidence, connection, and belonging.

6. Role-play baby care with dolls or stuffed animals
Engage your older child in pretend play by caring for baby dolls or stuffed animals together. Let them diaper, swaddle, feed, or rock their “baby,” and model gentle caregiving alongside them. This type of play helps them build familiarity and predictability around the idea of a newborn—and gives them a safe space to express their feelings or ask questions.

It also offers a meaningful opportunity for bonding, as your child begins to explore what it means to be a big sibling. Through play, they start to understand that they have a unique and important role in the family, which can boost their confidence and sense of identity before the baby arrives.

Here’s to a smooth, happy transition for your growing family!

RESOURCES

Cottle, T. (2003). The role of affirmation in the development of the self. Journal of Child and Youth Care Work, 18, 30-41.

https://earlychildhood.qld.gov.au/early-years/early-learning-at-home/play/make-believe-and-role-play

MacLaughlin, Stephanie M., and Kathleen B. Johnston. "The preparation of young children for the birth of a sibling." Journal of Nurse-Midwifery 29.6 (1984): 371-376.