Attachment Therapy
Your Early Relationships Taught You the Rules, We Can Help You Redefine Them
Whether it’s in romantic partnerships, family dynamics, or friendships, difficulties in attachment and relationships can leave us feeling isolated, misunderstood, or stuck. If you’ve experienced challenges in your relationships, know that therapy can help you explore and heal the patterns that may be contributing to your struggles.
What Are Attachment Issues?
Attachment issues stem from the way we connect and bond with others, often originating in early childhood experiences with caregivers. These formative relationships shape how we view ourselves and others in future interactions. When attachment needs aren’t fully met or are disrupted, it can lead to difficulties in relationships later in life.
Common Types of Attachment Styles:
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Secure Attachment
People with a secure attachment style are generally comfortable with closeness, intimacy, and trust in relationships. Secure attachment results in satisfactory and stable relationships.
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Anxious Attachment
Individuals with an anxious attachment style tend to worry about their relationships and may need constant reassurance, often fearing abandonment.
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Avoidant Attachment
Those with avoidant attachment may struggle with intimacy and tend to pull away or shut down emotionally when faced with relationship stress or demands for vulnerability and connection.
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Disorganized Attachment
A combination of anxious and avoidant patterns, where an individual may have inconsistent behavior toward relationships, feeling both drawn to and fearful of intimacy.
How Attachment Issues Show Up in Relationships
Attachment issues can affect relationships in many ways, leading to repeated patterns of conflict or emotional distress. Some common challenges include:
Fear of Abandonment:
Individuals with an anxious attachment style may experience intense fear that their partner or loved ones will leave them, which can lead to constant reassurance-seeking, jealousy, or overdependence.
Difficulty with Intimacy:
People with avoidant attachment may struggle with emotional closeness, feeling uncomfortable with vulnerability or relying on others. They might distance themselves in times of stress or avoid getting too close to others.
Relational Ruckus:
Those with disorganized attachment may exhibit inconsistent behavior in relationships. The core need for safety results in confusing behavior at times to either achieve closeness or distance, depending on what feels safer.
Chronic Conflict:
Many attachment-related issues can result in recurring arguments, tension, or unresolved issues. These are often rooted in unmet emotional needs, misunderstandings, or fears of rejection or abandonment.
Low Self-Esteem:
Attachment issues can also contribute to low self-worth, where individuals feel unworthy of love or find difficulty in trusting others. The strong human desire to connect is thwarted by lack of skill, fear or shame.
What Attachment Therapy Looks Like
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Attachment-Based Therapy
Attachment-based therapy focuses on exploring the root causes of attachment patterns, often stemming from early childhood experiences. This approach helps you understand how your attachment style, how it was formed, how it affects your present-day relationships, and how to improve secure attachment behaviors.
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Trauma-Informed Therapy
Trauma-informed therapy focuses on creating a safety for healing, emphasizing self-compassion and emotional regulation. Individuals can then recognize how past traumas affect present relationships and embody healthy relational behaviors. By regulating the nervous system, clients can reclaim authentic connection.
Our Bozeman Attachment Therapists
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Tori Kenyon McKay, LCSW
I have a naturally playful and professional approach. My clinical past has allowed me to develop confidence and skills working with all genders ages 16 to 35. I feel at my most skilled when I’m working with life transitions, trauma, anxiety, and depression.
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Logan Shrader, LCSW
I work with children ages 6 to 16 to build skills and strategies for thriving in school and family. I specialize in play therapy, CBT, and attachment, as well as supporting neurodivergence. I also work with men who are new to the “dad” role.
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Lauren Boland, LCSW
In our work together, I’ll call into action the knowledge and strategies from somatic, mindfulness, attachment, and developmental theories for your work in anxiety, transitions, neurodivergence, and trauma.
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Becky Johnston, LCSW
I create a relaxed and casual space for adult women navigating anxiety, depression, OCD, burnout, or big life changes. If you're feeling stuck, I’m here to help you feel more like you and create the path to a future that looks inviting.
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Ellie Jorgensen, LCPC
I work with adults and children to navigate life’s twists and turns. I specialize in synergetic play therapy, CBT, and ERP, focusing on challenges like childhood behavioral concerns, attachment, postpartum depression, trauma, anxiety, and OCD.
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Sarah Webb, LCSW
I work with burnout, anxiety, rage, postpartum, birth trauma, attachment, and healthy coping in women. With expert training in Somatic, Mindfulness, and Attachment, I get to the core quickly so therapy has big impact.
Our therapists are “Neurodiverse Informed”, which is to say that we all have training and skills to work with a range of folks on the neurodiverse spectrum from ADD/ADHD, gifted, and high functioning autism. We fully celebrate the Neuro-Spicey and the Bright and Quirky!
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“Illuminate Counseling has positively impacted my life in more ways than I can count. It has helped me on a personal level as I move through the big and small challenges of life. Mostly though, it has made such a positive impact on my relationships.”
— ILLUMINATE CLIENT
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Whether you’re seeking clarity, healing, or growth, our team is here to support you in finding what you need.