Rest is Not a Dirty Word
Our culture has long wrestled with the two concepts of doing and being. Many people see doing as more virtuous and essential. Western culture has told us to keep moving, keep producing and achieving, rack up the points, create those“to-do” lists and race to check off all that you accomplish. The opposite of doing is being; other words we use for being are rest, relaxation, quiet time. Eastern culture, which is often held up in mystery, shows us communities gathering in silence and stillness to contemplate and explore our inner world. And, to some Westerners, this seems uncomfortable, impossible, and maybe even pointless. Turns out, neuroscience tells us that practicing both doing and being is equally vital to our well-being.
Being and Doing are different modes of living - and our brains NEEDS both
Doing engages the brain’s task-positive network: goal-oriented, problem-solving, forward-moving.
Being activates the default mode network (DMN): reflection, daydreaming, integration, creativity. The DMN is associated with thought patterns which are foundational to our sense of self. It also retrieves past experiences that are helpful in sound decision-making.
Without time in the being mode, the brain stays locked in go-mode. That’s great for survival—but terrible for clarity, insight, and long-term emotional health.
Doing is about achieving. Being is about feeling.
Doing mode means we might meet all our goals, but feel numb or disconnected from the experience of living.
Being allows us to access emotion, meaning, and embodied presence—what many people describe as feeling “like themselves again.”
When we pause, we give ourselves the chance to feel—which is often the missing ingredient in healing and connection.
Nervous system regulation depends on this balance
Doing often triggers sympathetic activation (fight, flight, productivity, go-go-go).
Being allows the parasympathetic system to take the wheel (rest, digest, restore).
Too much doing = chronic stress.
Too much being (without structure) = potential stagnation.
Balance = resilience.
Without being, doing becomes compulsive. Without doing, being becomes passive.
Doing without being can turn into burnout, hyper-productivity, or performance-based worth.
Being without doing can lead to aimlessness or disconnection from values and purpose.
Integration is the magic word. We need to feel ourselves living even as we move forward. And we need to act in ways that align with what we deeply care about—not just react to urgency.
We're a human beings—not a human doings.
This isn’t just a cliché—it’s a compass.
Our worth is not earned by how much we accomplish. But our vitality is supported by staying connected to our inner world while engaging with the outer one.
When we do from a place of being, our actions are more intentional, less reactive, and more sustainable.
So pause. Breathe. Let yourself exist without striving, even for a moment. That’s not stepping away from your life—that’s stepping deeper into it.
